Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Grade: B
Hotness Level: Inferno
Kink Level: No Kink
Genre: Contemporary
Published: 11/27/12
Reviewed by Anne

Caroline moves into her new apartment and loves it.  Until she wakes up in the middle of the night to the sounds of her next door neighbor having sex.  The walls are paper thin and she can hear everything.  The next night she hears him with a different woman.  And the next night with a third.  That’s when she’s had enough and she stomps over to pound on his door…

So, I’ll admit, I’m late to the Wallbanger party.  I remember reading reviews long ago and putting it on my “buy this book and read it soon” list.  I’d heard it was funny, and it really is!  I’d also heard it was Twilight fan fiction, and that ended up taking away from my reading experience.  Because it was so easy to see who was who, I had some expectations.  It was very jarring to me when the characters acted differently than their Twilight personalities.  And just when I had accepted Caroline and Simon (the wallbanging neighbor) as “Caroline and Simon” instead of “Edward and Bella,” they go and do something very Edward and Bella-ish.  It was very frustrating to me!

For most of the book I really loved the pacing of the relationship between Caroline and Simon. When I realized what a man whore Simon was, I was worried that Caroline would join his harem.  I was so glad that they became friends and things developed at a slower pace between them!

Caroline and her friends were funny.  I really enjoyed the secondary storyline about her friends’ relationships.  I can’t say enough how much this book made me smile!

On the other hand, there were some things that really bothered me.  The story is told primarily from Caroline’s point of view, which was fine, but there are a couple places where it jumps to someone else’s point of view.  It was done for comedic effect, and it was funny, but it was also a bit jarring.

Another annoying thing is the pacing of Caroline and Simon’s relationship.  I really liked it going slow in the beginning.  However, once they start dating, they both seem to really want sex but aren’t having it for a really long time – to the point of ridiculousness.  Even more odd, they don’t actually talk about it.  Caroline makes a decision as to when she thinks the right time is, and Simon seems to instinctually know this and agree.  That had me rolling my eyes.  It also made me yell at my iPad – “I don’t care what kind of food you’re eating!  Just have sex!”  Because, seriously, there was a lot of food description to wade through before there was any sex.

The worst thing about this story, though, was that Caroline has “lost” her “O.”  She hasn’t had an orgasm in a very long time and she misses it.  Does she take matters into her own hands?  No.  Why not?  I have no idea.  Seriously, this was the dumbest thing, and she kept going on and on about it.

Still, despite all that, I enjoyed the book.  I don’t know if I’ll read more Alice Clayton or not.  I’m not sure the enjoyment was worth the annoyance, especially because, as time goes by, I just seem to remember the annoyance, and not the enjoyment.  The author is writing sequels to this book, about the same characters.  I’ll probably be tempted in a weak moment – the banter between Caroline and Simon is pretty awesome!

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